Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Stefan Urquelle. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. The Day Steve Urkel Was Born. The one-time appearance that turned | by This causes Steve, Waldo and Weasel to leave and Eddie laughs nervously]. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. If you cut me, do I not cough? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. Waldo: Man, they didn't even know who we were. [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. It's to another restaurant. I wanna read it to my mom. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. How much will that cost me? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! You had two whole days to forget where it was. Rachel Crawford: Uh, Steve, would you mind coming over to the restaurant on Sunday at about 7:30? Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Colonel Dirk Urkel! Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. A few minutes ago, I just saw Laura and I fanted. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Waldo: [pause] Wow! Steve Urkel: But, I told you. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? He just told you to get lost. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! Harriette Winslow: Now here's something I didn't know. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? You have the right to remain silent. All the doo da day. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. You made me so nervous that I had to go to the hospital to get the thimble taken off. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. She lived a long and full life. He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Don't they teach Black History at your school? Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. [leaves]. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Oh, the room is spinning. Mont gio sam eea!". Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? My zipper." 5. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Does that about cover it? Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. Steve Urkel: Okay. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl and his father planned on doing a lot of things together, but they never got the chance. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. His parents were very upset. You're so beautiful, you take their breath away. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: All right. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Steve Urkel: 'Standardized Urkel Elementary Math Exam'. Carl Otis Winslow: Ohohoho and they are personal and private. The man was open all day! 'Steve Urkel' Actor Jaleel White Launches Purple Urkle - Forbes We're having big fun here. Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Harriette: Soon, baby. Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Steve Urkel: Yeah, and then if you sneeze why, your entire head explodes like a cherry bomb in a cantaloupe. My head pops out! Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. I know how you feel about Laura. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. You know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! You've been saying it for weeks. Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? I'll teach that. [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. [Runs with Steve to confront Waldo and Weasel], [Eddie tries to flirt with a cute girl, unaware that Carl is behind him]. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not and keep your voice down the neighbors might hear you. It meant a lot to me. I'll teach you. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? That's not enough time for Rambo to blow anything up. Verbs are our friends. I can't breathe! Judy Winslow: Boring. Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." Isn't that sad? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". Rachel Crawford: Well at least we know where it is. [faints]. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Steve could've been killed. College Problems Student Problems Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: All the way home, and the next day I cried all the way back to the library. I'm not your personal doormat. Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Well, why didn't you tell me? Rise! Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Blogging Everyday on Tumblr Harriette: What for? Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. And OOHHH, and him! You would win the gold. Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? [laughs]. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Why she is woman, hear me roar. Steve Urkel: We met once. [steps on the gas]. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post They're disgusting. He opted ofr early retirement. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! "Tomorrow Dad!" OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. There's a lot of bad pickup lines out there. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Three times X equals six. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Steve Urkel: Waldo, how could you do this to me? Rodney Beckett: [after seeing Eddie's music video] I can't believe it. 6. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Easy Eddo. Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? I'll tell you something else, Allison, I may not be the most trendy guy on campus, or the best looking and I'm CERTAINLY not the most coordinated. "Clean up your room, Edward." [Pulls him into a hug]. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! Just as I thought. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! Laura: Just let me fall! Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. "Pass the salt, Edward." You don't sleep, you don't have nightmares. Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Harriette Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Carl. Rachel Crawford: How 'bout double the usual? Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! You know that? Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. I love my Army. I will not give you a lock of my hair. Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. How much do I owe you for parking? Family Matters Quotes ABC/Warner Bros Remember Steve Urkel? Why can't we share? Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Steve Urkel: [about the music video] This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck. [walks into the bathroom]. Why, I guarantee you he has studied the best! Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. He's never used his! Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea. Whatever Happened To Steve Urkel From Family Matters? - MSN Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. And I like the Red Sox. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. "Nubbles Sucks Face with Nerd!". Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Carl: Overreact? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Willie Makeit? [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel - CNN Video [He leaves the house]. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Eddie: [chuckling] I know this one! When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. Why, how low can you get? Laura Lee Winslow: Nope, this is Black History Month. For that matter why isn't everybody? Laura: So, Myrtle, how long are you gonna be around? Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. I was not abrasive. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. They help move along our sentences.
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